How to Approach a Female at Church 101
I wanted to address the question raised by Nikki. Great question by the way. Hope this helps fellas.
I really don't know what's up with the brothas’approach at church. Someone needs to offer them a class or something since this appears to be a widespread epidemic across the nation. I will offer my advice this one time only to the male masses. Kidd Grown’s training program shut down two years ago when I noticed that all the guys I give advice to or date seem to marry someone else. Hmm? I will, however, offer my services as a modern day Ms. Hitch to my closest guy friends.
I kind of feel bad for them because I know that some are very sincere when they see an attractive woman at church and just want to get to know her. So brothas, read closely.
Tip #1) I still think the best way to get to know people is through serving God and doing activities that you normally do. It gives you the chance to interact with different types of people as well as learn how your "VIP (very interesting person)" works with others. Instead of spending so much one on one time brothers, try asking the sister what ministry or hobbies she's involved with. Get to know her in a group setting. You might not like what you see after all.
Tip #2) Fellas, you've got to learn how to ask around too. This means you need to get a life and expand your circle. Remember the Kevin Bacon game where you can always get back to Kevin Bacon from any movie. Somebody always knows somebody who knows somebody, etc., etc. Check with your homies (people you trust though) what's up with a particular female. Don’t try to get all in her Cool-Aid though. Just the basics – how long has she been a member, where does she serve, who does she hang out with at church, what is her profession and what are some of her interests. You can make a decision to advance or retreat just by this initial investigation. A good three minutes well spent.
Tip #3) Guys, it's always good to have at least one good “girl” friend. She can come in handy in giving you some pointers on your approach. Practice with her. If she’s your friend, she’ll tell you the truth. Show her your interest from a distance. Women can read other women a whole lot better then men can. If you have a God-fearing female friend who you know is NOT a hater, ask her for her initial impressions. Also, she might have some connections and can get the skinny on your love interest. We have our ways of getting information. I do this regularly for my guy friends. We need to learn how to look out for each other. For example, one of my guy friends was interested in this lady at church. He showed her to me, and I let him know that I didn’t think she was his type. I described to her a situation where I had personally witnessed her going off on someone. I also was able to share with him another occasion where I had witnessed this woman acting very inappropriately at a professional function. Now, she was cute and had a nice body. She goes to church every week, but I wasn’t comfortable giving my boy a good report about her. I told him to proceed with caution if that’s what he wanted to do.
Tip #4) Focus on being friends with the lady in the truest since of the word. You'll never know where that friendship could lead. If it doesn't go anywhere, then at least you didn't waste your money on dates and get your heart broken because you thought she was “the one”. Some of the most successful marriages today started out as friendships where neither person was “romantically” interested in the other.
Tip #5) I think if you see a girl on a regular basis at church, you've made eye contact with her and she's dropping you a clue that it's okay to speak--then what in the heck are you waiting for? The burning bush is history. Repeat after me brothas, “Women like to be noticed and pursued (pursue does not equal stalk, okay).” It is flattering. Chances are she could've noticed you too. Don't be timid and shy. That is not attractive. I repeat: that is not attractive. If you want to win a woman's hand, you have to do what it takes to show that you are worthy. Be yourself though. You are a performance driven creator by design, so don’t be coming all weak for the greatest challenge of your life.
If she thinks you are interesting, then she'll give you the right hints to assist you. But, do not expect her to nurse you through pursuing her. She'll think that you are weak. I'm just being real here! And if you so happened to get rejected, remember, “I’m Mike Jones, baby!” You are the bomb my beautiful black brother…NEXT!
The Big Kahuna. The tip of all tips. The manna from the sky. Are you ready, brother?
Tip #6) If you want a job, you go after it. If you want a car a house, you save for it. If you play sports or games, you play to win don't you? So you practice and you focus on the victory. It's not rocket science...do the same thing to win your woman!!! That’s it. I could be way off base, and I’m not scared to be shut down either. This is my site, so watch out there now!
“That will be $250 for my 1-hour consulting fee please,”